Nowhere is scary

The closer I get to living nowhere the more anxiety I feel about it.

This last week and a bit, because it's Thursday and not Sunday

• Organised a loan for the future vehicle, waiting on approval
• Requested and received help from my bestie Annie's dad Paul in purchasing
• Finished packing, I don't have anything left in the house except that which is for sale.
• Posted gumtree adds for the remainder of the items
• Planned for test drives this coming Saturday
• Packed up my car, it all fits yay!
• Started scouting locations to crash and relax, so far so good.
• Decided on waiting six months before publishing information about homelessness in case of negative attention having an impact on me
• Tested my gym shower routine, so far so good but a bit cold
• Scouted locations for sleeping, street lights are the worst. need to figure something else out.
• Where am I going to dry my towel? :(

The biggest one is sleep, and relaxation. A single night of scouting has made me very uncomfortable for my immediate future. This will be very, very uncomfortable. Until its not.

One thing I learned from my brush with death due to cancer is that the level of discomfort you can tolerate is adaptive like anything else. and I been through worse shit than a little uncomfortable sleep. I remember back as a teenager I slept at friends houses in the cold in uncomfortable positions because we were LAN'ing and what else could you do. At what point did I become so fragile that I couldn't handle a little discomfort... oh that's right I'm not fragile, so fuck that shit.